Dual....:-)
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
