adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
