yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
