i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
