what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Randomize
