she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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