Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
