bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
