I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
