The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Im part way to drunk.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
