I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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