North Korea, Best Korea!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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