I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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