Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
