glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he thought i was a dude.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
