All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My bed smells like the plague
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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