There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
