We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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