He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
