dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
