I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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