So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
