I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize