Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
