When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
