when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
