where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Pappa wants mamma naked
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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