We got so high we made milksteak
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
