Say something about gay babies.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize
