JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
