D3 body, D1 cock
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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