I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
