Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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