She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
