She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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