She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
