did you get engaged???
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
