Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
