I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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