You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
