So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
