Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
