Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
