speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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