have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
