On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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