Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
