guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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