This show inspires me to have sex in space
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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