My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My dick has a subreddit
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
