Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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