is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize