I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
did i just pee glitter
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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