Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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