I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
