Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I've blown a few things in my day
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
