the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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